St GERMANUS-OF-AUXERRE

GERMANUS-OF-AUXERRE: Gallic prelate sent on two missions to establish a foothold in the pagan country England.

He started out as a noble nob, spending half his time studying high matters of law and philosophy, and the rest chasing wild animals across the countryside so he could take their heads home to impress people.

As it happened, he hung these trophies on an enormous old tree which, not so long ago, had been worshipped by the common folk as the spirit of a pagan God.

The Bishop of Auxerre was most displeased at this non-Christian display and chopped the tree down. An angry Germanus stormed up the Bishop and started a fight — in which God won.

From that day forth he devoted his life to holy matters and never troubled the animal rights movement again.