St JOHN-OF-MATHA

JOHN-OF-MATHA: Co-founder and Superior General of the deftly-named 'Order Of The Most Holy Trinity For The Redemption Of Captives'.

The O.O.T.M.H.T.F.T.R.O.C. was an organisation set up to free Christian slaves in Muslim captivity. This, his life's work, was prompted by a vision he received — in which not only did an angel suggest the idea, but also supplied fashion advice for the making of his uniform.

So he went right into the thick of the action, plunging into foreign climes, negotiating and battling against unspeakable odds. Untold prisoners were rescued and eventually our heroic Saint became the gripping subject of a zillion cheesy medieval adventure novels.

Amazingly, the Order he founded is still going strong. They don't actually rescue Christian slaves from Muslim Moors anymore, but they do provide ministering services to prisoners all over the world.

We trust they still wear the same divinely-inspired O.O.T.M.H.T.F.T.R.O.C. uniforms.