BUMBA

BUMBA: From the Bushongo in the Congo comes BUMBA, the African Creator God of Vomit. Yes, vomit.

In the beginning, all was dark. Then out of the darkness came BUMBA, a giant pale-skinned figure. He was not feeling well. In fact he had not been feeling well for millions of years. He was lonely, and the unbearable solitude was making him ill.

Troubled by a ballooning bellyache, he staggered, moaned and vomited up the Sun. Light burst forth into the Universe — and he choked out the Moon. The stars came next and then, with a tremendous effort, he threw up the planet Earth. We do live in a very sick world.

This nauseating display was brought to a triumphant conclusion when, as an encore, he vomited forth nine animals, an assortment of humans, and a pile of diced carrots.

Exhausted from his labors, he sat and watched as the nine creatures multiplied. After a while, they had evolved into every living thing on Earth. Which goes to show that Creationism and Evolution are both right.

Apart from a pesky critter named TSETSE-BUMBA, all his creatures were friendly and respectful. His loneliness abated and finally he was content.

Then BUMBA's three sons appeared. NYONYE-NGANA, CHONGANDA and CHEDI-BUMBA added the finishing touches and thus the world was made. BUMBA spoke kindly to his human creations before ascending to Heaven, never to be seen again. So far as we know, his stomach has never troubled him since.