CHENG-HUANG

CHENG-HUANG: Protective Town Gods in charge of Buildings and Bureaucracy. Every district has its own CHENG-HUANG to guard against earthquakes, cracked paving and other disasters.

A sort of building surveyor God, your local CHENG-HUANG probably has a desk at the Town or City Hall, but can only be contacted if your phone has a star key. In case of emergency, the TU-DI Repairs Team are standing by — waiting for someone to hand them the correct form.

As representatives of the JADE-EMPEROR, they may seem unreachable and aloof, but they're doing their best. It's not easy keeping track of collapsed chimneys, abandoned bicycles, busted street lamps and potholes in the road. Especially at the weekend.

Like most Public Servant Gods in China, the CHENG-HUANG are sticklers for paperwork. All complaints and damage reports must be submitted on the correct form. Even departing souls are required to fill out a form before their journey to Heaven is expidited.