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FENG-SHUI

Barely scrutable Chinese system of Cosmic Harmony

"Wind-Water" is a traditional method of reaching Cosmic Harmony based on the idea of QI, YIN and YANG, and the balance between Heaven and Earth. In modern practical terms this basically means rearranging your furniture until you feel good.

Most New Age stores will tell you that FENG-SHUI relies on Godly Good Fortune from the SAN-XING team of FU-XING, LU-XING and SHOU-XING. And then attempt to sell you some little statues and a joss stick.

There are dedicated FENG-SHUI practitioners who can transform every aspect of your life, but newcomers to the field might like to try the Godchecker Guide To Good Vibes:

Stage 1: First catch your God. Then make sure he points in the right direction.

Stage 2: Adjust your Karma with soothing traditional music played on bamboo shoots.

Stage 3: Eat a lotus leaf backwards while thinking Profound Thoughts.

Stage 4: Balance a goldfish bowl on your head. This will cause all your negative vibrations to flow outwards whenever you pass East Wind.

Stage 5: Insert Toe A into Nostril B using wooden utensil provided.

Stage 6: Breathe deeply and send us all your spare cash. (Checks are riddled with negative energy.)

Congratulations! You'll now be so confused that FENG-SHUI will be the least of your problems.

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Article last updated on 28 December 2012
Authors: Peter J Allen and Chas Saunders
References: Coming soon.

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Godchecker's article on Feng-shui is based on material from ancient texts, original references and our own research. We strive for accuracy and update regularly with new information. If you spot a mistake please contact us and we'll try to fix it.


Suggested further reading...
ABOUT FENG-SHUI : FACTS AND FIGURES
Name : FENG-SHUI
Location : China
Gender : Both male and female
Type : Concept
Celebration or Feast Day : Unknown at present
Pronunciation : Fung Sshway
Alternative names : None known
Popularity index : 274

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