St CHRISTOPHER

Patron Saint of Travelers, Motorists and Long Distance Drivers, also Toothache and Epilepsy

One of the most celebrated of all saints, St CHRISTOPHER was a Canaanite not a car driver (those 3rd Century pedal cars were rubbish!)

"How come you're so heavy kid?" he asked. The tot replied: "Well, I'm the infant JESUS and I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders."

Fortunately for Christianity (and motorists) they reached the other side after an exhausting struggle. We assume the tot tottered off after telling our Saint to plant his staff in the ground. Next morning it was growing leaves and fruit. So conversion seemed the right way to go.

The word spread and the King of Lycia came with four hundred bowman to jeer at the Ferryman and use him for target practice, but they all missed, and one arrow did a boomerang turn and hit the king in the eye.

So they beheaded our hero, but when his blood was spilt the king's eye was restored, converting him, and assumedly the four hundred bowmen to Christianity.

For some reason, St CHRISTOPHER has been removed from the Roman Catholic Saints Calendar. The fact that he is merely legendary is no excuse, considering some of the other figures to grace the calendar. Perhaps they thought he was just too good to be true.

But as millions and millions of people use his image on medallions of protection, ignore this and choose who you wish.