She tried to enter a church but was pushed back by an invisible holy force. So she tried a little prayer to an image of the Virgin MARY — and she was in.
Surprisingly there were messages waiting for her (a sort of celestial dot com? Heavenly voice mail?). She was told to cross the river Jordan and live in the wilderness.
She didn’t question the new technology, but went ahead as directed, taking three loaves of miracle bread to last her for life. Her clothes wore out but this didn’t matter too much as her hair grew to fur coat length.
A priest appeared on the bank one day and offered her the host, but could not find a boat so she walked over the water to meet him. He came again next year, and found her dead so he must have acquired a boat.
He tried to dig a grave without a spade and a lion came to help him. We just can’t help thinking the lion many have come back later and dug up a bit of supper for himself.