VAINAMOINEN

Also known as VAINO, VÄINÄMÖINEN, WAINAMOINEN

Popular folk hero god of the Kalevala

He is the star of the show, and thousands of epic poems and tales. They do go on and on... and on... and all in Finnish. Join the dots.

He discovered fire in the belly of a fish which was in the belly of a fish which was in the belly of a fish, and thus created the world's first three-course fish dinner.

He also invented a vaguely harp-like musical instrument, using the bones of a gigantic pike and the hair of a maiden (who was presumably equally gigantic). This was called a kantele and proved so popular that it's now the national instrument of Finland.

His kantele came in very handy for magical purposes, as VAINAMOINEN was a real whiz at singing spells. His musical duel with JOUKAHAINEN was probably the forerunner of the Eurovision Song Contest. He won the duel, but lost the prize as AINO, the young lady concerned, drowned herself.

That was always VAINAMOINEN's problem. He was a ladies man, but had terrible trouble getting the ladies. His attempt to marry the very attractive daughter of Ice Sorceress LOUHI was a disaster. He went to all the trouble of presenting her with the specially-made magic SAMPO machine as a wedding gift, but his potential mother-in-law was as cold as an icicle and the marriage was most definitely off.