He created Earth before he even came into existence himself. Never mind the Big Bang theory.

Even before he was finished, the first woman was nagging. “Is this all there is?” she said. He scratched what would have been his head, if he had possessed a head or anything to scratch it with, and answered: “You could always try death.”

“What’s that?’”she asked. “A sort of gamble,” he replied. “Look, I’ll throw this piece of dung into the river and if it floats you’ll all die for four days, but then come back and live forever. That will stop you nagging. But if it sinks, anyone dying will have to stay dead.”

The woman was eager to bet on such a dead certainty. Plop. It floated. But for some reason she wasn’t satisfied and wanted to try it for herself. Being rather fastidious, and not too bright, she didn’t want to throw dung, so she picked up a stone instead. Plop. Thud. Which sunk all our chances of living forever.

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Article last revised on October 23, 2018 by Rowan Allen.
Editors: Peter J. Allen, Chas Saunders

References: Coming soon.

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