ACCA-LARENTIA

Goddess of Fertile Grounds and Real Estate.

To prevent gossip, he advised her to get married quick. So she rushed out into the street and bumped matrimonially into Tarutius, an Etruscan property developer.

Now Tarutius just happened to own some very tasty real estate and was not in the best of health. When he died, ACCA-LARENTIA found herself in possession of the entire future site of Rome. What an inheritance!

But by a strange twist of fate, she mysteriously disappeared — leaving the whole lot to the state of Rome itself. This proved very handy for future generations. Whenever some neighboring state protested at city boundaries or Roman occupation, senators could wave ACCA-LARENTIA's Last Will And Testament in their faces and cry: "Gotcha!"

Meanwhile, other legends state she was also someone else: the wife of Faustulus the gamekeeper who rescued ROMULUS and REMUS.

She is also Mother of the LARES, which presumably happened when those famous Roman boundaries were being sorted out. In gratitude for her services, she was given her own festival, Laurentalia or Larentinalia, on the 23rd of December. At least everyone agrees on the date.