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CLOACINA

Goddess of the Sewers

Not to mention drains, gutters and sewage treatment facilities.

Once an Etruscan Goddess of Marital Bliss, she was, for reasons which remain obscure, placed in charge of the grand Roman ?ber-drainage system, the Cloaca Maxim. This was clearly a very important office for obvious reasons.

It was in everyone's best interest to think of her as fair and benevolent. Particularly when strange bubblings, burblings and knockings were heard — as they are even in the best plumbing systems. In such cases, it was deemed wise to offer libations.

CLOACINA may have been at the bottom, but she's always capable of resurfacing. Why not engage her services for trouble-free plumbing?

From time to time it might be a good idea to offer her a tip, rather than the usual pine-scented bleach. Here we can help with the sort of tip Godchecker is venerated for. Try Coca-Cola as a lavatory cleaner. The results are amazing and it will even remove limescale. CLOACINA will be delighted and won't upset anyone with blockages.

We have not tried Pepsi yet, so you'll just have to try it yourself and see which CLOACINA prefers.

Article last updated on 12 January 2013
Authors: Peter J Allen and Chas Saunders
References: Coming soon.

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Godchecker's article on Cloacina is based on material from ancient texts, original references and our own research. We strive for accuracy and update regularly with new information. If you spot a mistake please contact us and we'll try to fix it.

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