EVIL DEMONS & HALLOWEEN NASTIES

We present a selection of spooky spirits and ghostly Gods.

BABA-YAGA

Slavonic Goddess of Death. She lives in a house built of human bones, complete with bone fence with inset skulls whose eye sockets light up in the dark. And it is a mobile home - it runs around supported on gigantic chicken legs. If this doesn’t make you chicken out, her own eyes turn humans to stone, and her mighty mouth has knives for teeth. She can also pole herself around in a giant pestle and mortar which she also uses to grind up and unpetrify her victims. Coming soon to a forest near you.

KALMA

Smelly Goddess of Death and Decay from Finland. Very odiferous, she wafts about on a whiff.

AIGAMUXA

Man-eating monsters from Africa. Don’t panic too much because their eyes are in the soles of their feet. They can’t see you during a chase. They have to stop and lie on their backs with their feet in the air. So just keep running and zig-zag a lot.

KALI

The Black One. The Indian Goddess of Darkness, Blood and Thuggery. She has three eyes, four arms, vampire fangs and is bloated with the blood of victims. She is also Mrs SHIVA.

BABI

Egyptian Underworld God in the shape of a bloodthirsty baboon. You would not want a Babi doll.

AJATAR

From Finland, she's the evil spiritess of the woods. Mother of the Devil in dragon form, she suckles snakes and spreads diseases.

OVDA

Deep Forest God of Finland. Don’t go into the woods on your own. If you're a woman, and a naked man advances towards you with his feet pointing backwards, you have no chance. It’s him! If you're a man, it will be a naked woman likewise. You will be danced or tickled to death. And then eaten. If you go as a pair it may confuse him, but we can’t vouch for it.

ERINNYES

Greek. If you see three black-robed Goddesses with whips and snaky hair loitering outside your door, you can bet your boots you've been up to something anti-social and they have come to get you.

SUPAY

Unsavoury Incan Death God who sneaks up from the Underworld to look at babies because he is so fond of them. Turn down any applications for baby-sitting.

TLALTECUHTLI

Aztec Fat Toad Monster Goddess. We dare you to give her a kiss.

PISAKAS

Indian Cemetery demons with repulsive habits. They feast on all the leftovers from corpses, regarding smelly rotten bits as delicacies. They are not averse to having a go at mourners - who would be well advised to keep both nose and mouth covered, and at all costs to avoid farting.

BALOR

Celtic. A demonic one-eyed God of Death and evil King of the Fomorians, a race of gigantic warriors who liked nothing better than to invade somewhere, pillage it and then gloat horribly. He had one huge leg and, with his one evil eye, could kill someone just by peering at them. But he usually kept it closed to avoid tripping over dead bodies all the time.

ADACHIGAHARA

A Japanese demoness armed with a knife, who is very fond of children from a culinary point of view.

BAKEMONO

Japanese goblin, ghostie sort of things. Whatever they are, you can easily identify them because they have no feet. Challenge them to a game of football - that should get rid of them.

KAPPA

Japanese nasties. They will lure you into rivers and suck your blood. They are however extremely polite. So here is what you do - you will recognise a KAPPA from the bowl-like depression on top of its head filled with water. This is its power source. So you bow to a KAPPA in the approved Japanese fashion, and naturally having to return the courtesy it will bow back and the water tips out. It is then powerless until the water can be replenished. This is not all. They are crazy about cucumbers. They prefer cucumbers to blood. Bribe them with a cucumber and they will promise you almost anything.

RAIDEN

He has flames for skin, a demon's head and eagle's claws. This striking appearance is to make it clear he is the Japanese God of Lightning. He also owns a thunder beast called Raiju which he sends in the form of a fireball, leaping through trees and clawing at things. It is not advisable to sleep out of doors in thunderstorms as, apart from getting terribly wet, Raiju can join you when he gets tired and curls up in your belly button and RAIDEN has to wake it up with fire arrows. This is not a good way to have your navel pierced.

AH PUCH

Mayan ruler of Level 9 of the Underworld: the deepest and nastiest bits.
He likes to surface at night and skulk around in scary mode: a putrefying corpse with an owl's head. What he does when he homes in on a victim is worse than you need to imagine. There is only one way to escape his attentions. Howl, shriek, moan and scream. Give it your best shot. Sound utterly convincing. AH PUCH will then assume you are already being dealt with by some of his lesser demons and will pass by with a grim smile.

KAKAMORA

Oceanic spirits with long sharp nails, which they use on stray children and travelers. They can be kept at bay by waving something white. Far from being a token of surrender it terrifies them.

MATABIRI

From Oceana, these are grotesque swollen swamp spirits with blown-out bellies and puffed-out cheeks. They are very bad medicine. If you see one it is time to change your medicine man.

ADROANZI

African nasty sneaky snaky creatures born of ADRO the evil water snake God. They tend to hide in rivers and behind rocks, lying in wait for innocent humans. If you walk past one at night, watch out! The creepy creature will follow you home, licking its lips. Whatever you do, don't turn around. If you so much as peep behind you, you've had it. Keep your eyes fixed ahead and pretend nothing is happening. That's the only way to stay safe.

HAIURI

African Half A God. He is only half-there, having one eye, one ear, one arm and one leg. You stand half a chance of being taken to the Underworld if you meet him as he has to hop after you and seize you with half a mouth. A bit half-hearted.

SKILI

Night time is the right time. These are Native American Owl Witches who don't give a hoot where their victims come from.

NAMORODO

Australian monsters to make your flesh creep. Nothing but skin and bones, shreds and sinews. The wind moans through them as they fly at night, waiting to pounce on you and suck your insides out. If they catch you, they'll turn you into one of them. Vampires are cuddly in comparison.

That's all folks. Don't have nightmares!