Forget Tiger or Cobra beer — what you really want is a refreshing glass of Soma brewed by SOMA himself. This potent Booze of the Gods guarantees immortality. Not to mention immobility. It also has many other amazing properties and was even used as a fertility treatment by SUMITRA.
Since the dawn of drink, Soma was brewed to a secret recipe using special plants and herbs. Unfortunately the recipe was so secret that it has now been lost — despite much eager investigation by thirsty researchers. Soma is pretty strong stuff and neither Gods nor mortals can remember much after a few noggins.
SOMA is without doubt one of the Top Gods in the holy world of drink. He has many offshore funds and companies, mostly connected with his own brand drinks industry. He even has connections with the moon (see CHANDRA), which used to be known as ‘Soma’s Cup’. In the good old days the moon gleamed brightly with dazzling drink and all the Gods could slurp it up for instant immortality top-ups. Now, as you can see on any clear night, only the dregs are left.
Still, dregs are better than nothing. We strongly urge NASA to push forward their next moon exploration program. Discovering fresh supplies of Soma and exporting it to Earth could greatly benefit the human race.