He is the God to call upon should you be having any trouble in that department. There’s no need to be embarrassed. Go for BACKLUM-CHAAM every time. He’s far more reliable than those emails promising more inches than could safely be accommodated in anyone’s pants.
Like PRIAPUS, he is usually depicted with the relevant section of his anatomy standing to attention. If you’d like to see an illustration, please visit our Under The Counter Dept where a selection of artistic postcards are available for purchase.