Christian mythology

A selection of Christian Martyrs, Hermits & Virgins

St. JOHN THE BAPTIST

Christian Saint

The last Old Testament Prophet, so called although he missed the printing deadline by four hundred years

However, he’s the last person mentioned in the Bible that we feel has the unmistakably authentic prophet-like look about him, all gritty and haggard and wild-eyed. So he was definitely the last to uphold the Old Testament tradition of half-mad prophet in the desert. After him it was all clean-cut robes and Greek symbolism in the oratory.

You probably know all about John and his trendy New Age ways — living in the wilderness with his camel hair coats and leather belts and feasting on wild honey and crunchy locusts.

He inventing the Baptism craze even if no-one was quite sure what it was about it became quite a craze. Jesus tried it early in his career. Very hygienic too.

All went well until our Saint fell foul of King Herod and was imprisoned. Even worse, Herod’s stepdaughter was Salome, and she had a birthday coming up. She wasn’t going to do her salacious seven veil strip tease for nothing was she? Surely she was worth a Baptistburger?

Well a head on a tray actually — she wasn’t going to eat it — just gloat. She said her mother put her up to it and it wasn’t her fault. Some families are repulsive all the way through.

St. John the Baptist Facts and Figures

Name: John the Baptist
Pronunciation: Coming soon
Alternative names:

Gender: Male
Type: Saint
Birth and Death Dates: ???-30
Celebration or Feast Day: Unknown at present

Role: Unknown at present

Good/Evil Rating: Unknown at present
Popularity index: 128

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Article last revised on April 07, 2019 by the Godchecker data dwarves.
Editors: Peter J. Allen, Chas Saunders

References: Coming soon.

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