He was a fearsome beast of a giant with flaming red hair and an extremely burly beard. As you might imagine, he was not known for his placid nature. One day Benandonner challenged Irish giant Fionn mac Cumhaill to a fight — by yelling terrible insults across the ocean.
“Yar boo and sucks,” retorted Fionn mac Cumhaill. “You think you’re so tough. Well, come here and say that!” And to prove he meant business, he single-handledly constructed a bridge across the sea stretching all the way from Ireland to Scotland.
Benandonner eagerly stumbled across the Giant’s Causeway for the wrestling match of the century. But when he stepped into Irish soil there was no sign of his rival. Instead he noticed a giant baby almost as big as he.
“Och, if that’s the wee baby bairn, what must the daddy be like?” he thought. Benandonner was large, but not that large. In a panic, he decided he’d been there and done that — and fled back to Scotland, tearing the Causeway apart as he went.
The giant baby laughed. It was Fionn mac Cumhaill wrapped in a huge sheet. Another triumph for Ireland’s sneakiest giant.
Benandonner Facts and Figures
Pronunciation: Coming soon
Alternative names: Benadonner, The Red Man
Celebration or Feast Day: Unknown at present
In charge of: Warriors and Fighting
Area of expertise: Combat
Good/Evil Rating: NEUTRAL, may not care
Popularity index: 1875
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Article last revised on May 19, 2019 by the Godchecker data dwarves.
Editors: Peter J. Allen, Chas Saunders
References: Coming soon.